Loss, Love and Self-Care

The question that comes to mind is how does one deal with loss, any loss? In my last blog post, I talked about the immigrant experience and how loss no matter how uneventful, especially as a child can affect an entire lifetime. That blog post was my story then. This one particular (loss) was and is my story at the present moment.

“Life is in session” I always say. How does one process those instances when you’re just living your everyday type of moment and an event happens so quickly, and is so unreal that your mind gets stuck on auto-pilot? Your mind gets stuck trying to process the what-ifs, and on auto-pilot, the event assiduously trickles in and out of the thinking mind. The stories can be crushing yet how do we mend how do we heal? How do we switch off the auto-pilot that interferes with our awareness of what is, the loss is so poignant that the thoughts don’t seem to get any easier as we do our best to heal the experience and integrate it into our very Soul; integrate it to the point where the loss or the reminder of the loss finally brings us tears of joy.

Difficult nonetheless, the loss will heal, but getting there is nothing to take lightly or deny. This experience can be debilitating. The remembrance of what they represented in our lives comes alive. We reach for the “loss” and it is no longer there yet very real.  How do we tell our mind, our subconscious, and our Soul that we can move forward in acceptance?

I am there, taking one day at a time and feeling and reeling and dealing with loss, with the sense of abandonment, with the pain as it manifests in me, at the bottom of my left rib… it hurts. It’s painful and although we know that life is a process, that there will always be gains and losses we don’t expect such a poignant loss to happen to our person. So we deal, we get on with the “what ifs and what nots,” the love we shared brings joy and the separation starts to be less crushing. Little by little the images and the feelings from those images take on a more gentle effect on our very being as we start to integrate the loss into our overall life experience; the buckets of ups and downs that have shaped our very Soul.

We would all love to live in a perfect world free of anguish and pain yet there is a metaphysical universal law that states we need to make room for the next in line, for that which is to come. Yet it is never easy when that “law” happens to us in the most unfathomable way. It is not easy, period. The questions pop in… “How did that happen? And how can that happen to an innocent being? Who decided that this being can be disregarded in this instance as an integral part of life, of this earth?  How did this happen at all?” Our initial reaction is always denial, we do not want to welcome an unwelcomed reality. Yet daily we are confronted with the good and bad. It is paramount that we check in with ourselves and remember that as a species we are negatively biased, which means the not-so-kind inclined type of thinking can and will start to overtake the good thoughts, the compassionate thoughts, and the true meaning of life. And more questions arise, How does one deal with this inconceivable experience? How does one deal in the moment until, inevitably, the healing nature of time clicks in? So many questions. Then comes the overwhelming grief that can present itself in small bites or large chunks as we are confronted with a flash flood of emotions. And grief can linger, we need to make it our friend. We can start the process with Self Care.

 Self-care, lots of love and compassion.

Time has always been the all-time healer. As time flows our thoughts of the past soften and our subconscious begins to trust that we are in control of our welfare. Self-care is the remedy of all things “Love” and showing love to ourselves at times of loss is well, priceless!

The importance of Sef-care during an unexpected loss is paramount. Pushing through the trauma, the feeling of loss is overwhelming. The natural reaction of denial plus the shock and sudden change to our norm can leave us feeling emotionally and physically drained. In times like these, practicing self-care becomes crucial for our well-being and healing process.

Self-care refers to the intentional actions and activities we engage in to take care of our physical, mental, and emotional health. It involves being aware of our needs and making choices that prioritize our well-being. During the grieving process, self-care plays a pivotal role in helping us navigate our grief and find moments of comfort amidst the pain.

“The healing source is love yet we forget, like a muscle, love needs to be flexed and strengthened, and one of the most direct ways to do this is through acts of self-care.” – Dr. Sixto

Processing emotions, nurturing our physical health, building resilience, finding comfort and support, and honoring the loss are some of the reasons why practicing self-care is essential during an unexpected loss.

Processing Emotions – Grief is a complex and powerful emotion. It is raw and unforgiving. It can manifest in various ways, from anger and sadness to confusion and guilt. Engaging in self-care activities allows us to give ourselves permission to feel and process these emotions. Whether it is journaling, talking to a Holistic Health practitioner, practicing mindfulness, or seeing a therapist, self-care activities provide us with a safe space to express and understand our feelings.

Nurturing our Physical Health – During times of grief, it is common for our physical health to suffer. We may experience a lack of appetite, disrupted sleep patterns, or difficulty concentrating. Engaging in self-care practices that prioritize our physical well-being can help alleviate some of these symptoms. This may include engaging in regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, and ensuring we get enough rest and sleep.

Building Resilience – Unexpected losses can shake our sense of stability and security. Practicing self-care allows us to create a sense of routine and stability in our lives, even amidst the chaos of grief. By engaging in activities that bring us joy and peace, we can build resilience and strengthen our ability to bounce back from life’s challenges.

Finding Comfort and Support – Self-care often involves seeking solace and support from loved ones or engaging in activities that bring us comfort. Surrounding ourselves with a supportive network of family and friends; talking things out with understanding, non-judgmental listeners (good company) is paramount. As well, finding solace in activities such as reading, painting, or spending time in nature can provide us with moments of peace, distraction, and a sense of connection.

Honoring the Loss: Engaging in self-care during the grieving process allows us to honor the memory of our loss. By taking care of ourselves, we pay tribute to the impact that they had on us. Prioritizing our self-care reminds us that life goes on and that we must take care of ourselves to continue to cherish their memory and memories to come with other beings in this life.

Self-care is of utmost importance during an unexpected loss as it provides us with the tools and support necessary to navigate through the grieving process and heal. By taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally, we can honor our memories while simultaneously nurturing our well-being. Caring for yourself generates a positive, rejuvenating energy of self-love that you can embrace during a time that requires a gentle approach.  

In summary, during a time of loss, when we are feeling so vulnerable and raw, it is time to tune into our body, mind, heart, and soul, to become fully present within ourselves — and to our needs. In other words, in this instance, self-care is a catalyst for self-awareness, self-respect, and self-love, and the intended goal: is to heal.

The practice of Holistic Health is all-encompassing and helps a person move into a state of being that is physiologically healthy, leading to a state of loving compassion for the Self which subconsciously becomes the cue for making healthy lifestyle choices.

Curious or have questions about the philosophies of Holistic Health? Contact me at drsixto.me/contact. Also, make sure to sign up for the newsletter and future blogs!

For further information on how you or a loved one could benefit from a Holistic Wellness, Whole Health path, please do not hesitate to contact me at sixto@drsixto.me

To your Whole Health and Wellness, naturally!

Dr. Sixto J. Sicilia

Holistic Health & Nutrition Practioner

Founder, issimoUSA (issimousa.com)